Since When Does Every Storm Have a Name?

How annoying is this?! This is the planet earth. There is literally a storm a week somewhere in the U.S. so we really need to fucking cool it with the names. There are so many that no one ends up remembering them.* Pop Quiz: what was the gigantic storm named that hit Boston last year? Yeah, no one knows because no one fucking cares. It's just "that big storm last year", clean and simple.

Add this to the "living in the 2000s sucks" list.

1984: It's going to snow tomorrow. 2-3 feet expected.

2014: Ooooooo did you hear about winter storm Octavio?? It's gonna be a BAD one! How much snow will there be? Will the roads be bad? What are the top 5 shoveling tips?

FUCK and OFF, Weather Channel: Stop trying to be relevant and just tell me if I need a coat or not.


*Hurricanes not included - those fuckers deserve some respect.

You May Not Know This About Me, But...

I'm a pretty fucking awful blogger. Last post May 9th?! Jesus fuck that's terrible. I have been on the move a lot so I do need some considerations, but still...

Other news, I'm moving to Martha's Vineyard tomorrow to live and work for the summer. Maybe some blogable shit will go down there and I'll remember to clue you all in to it instead of just going balls deep into half a watermelon and going to bed.

Driving Me Nuts

If I see this god damn commercial one more time on ESPN, I'm going to fucking kill myself. It's one of the least funny commercials I've ever seen, and it plays almost 2-3 times every morning on ESPN while I'm watching highlights. You may be thinking I'm just being a whiner and it's like other annoying commercials that come on once or twice per half hour, but this commercial literally plays twice each commercial break. They also have a little 15 second adlet version that sometimes comes on 3 times per break. You think I'm kidding, watch ESPN News one morning. Fucking insanity.

Moss Motorsports, LLC

Hardcore thugs of Randy Moss' caliber just became NASCAR fans. I can't wait for guys like these to start showing up at races.

"'Fuck you mean 'BLACK' flag?!"


Full Story HERE.

Saturday Night Terrible

Saturday Night Live these days is fucking god awful. It's like getting a blowjob with a condom on; you know you've enjoyed this before, you know you should be enjoying this, but it's just not cutting it.